Famous & Funny Drinking Quotes

A Great Collection Of Drinking and Alcohol Quotes By Famous Men Like Mark Twain, Frank Sinatra, And Homer Simpson!

I love reading quotes- a person could be talking for hours, but only be remembered for one little line which can be turned into something so meaningful and profound when taken out of context. They're not quite Martin Luther King's "I have a dream...", but these quotes about drinking and alcohol are just as memorable, and a little more humorous:

“Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon.”
--Anonymous

“A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.”
--Steve Fergosi

“My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?”
--Henny Youngman

“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.”
--Richard Braunstein

“To alcohol... The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.”
--Homer Simpson

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”
--Frank Sinatra

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
--Dean Martin

“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.”
--Anonymous

“A drink a day keeps the shrink away.”
--Edward Abbey

“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.”
--Robert Heinlin

“A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
--Henny Youngman

“Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.”
--Mark Twain

“Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.”
--George Burns

*(I wrote this as a direct order from my Editor-in-Chief, as I am under 21, and I do not drink!)

(As seen on Bar Crawls)